Posted on November 10, 2015 in Divorce

Going through a divorce can leave you emotionally and financially battered. On top of the emotional struggles of a divorce, high legal fees and other divorce costs can take quite a toll on your finances. If you are going through a divorce, you might be making costly mistakes that could hurt you in the future. Transitioning from a lifestyle supported by two incomes to handling everything on your own is difficult enough. Skip adding any extra hardships by taking some fairly simple precautions.

Be Careful When Splitting Your Assets

Dividing property fairly may seem obvious, but a surprising number of post-divorce individuals feel they did not get their fair share of marital assets, or were left with a larger burden of shared debt. Be careful when splitting your assets, and be sure to ask for that to which you are entitled. Many people are willing to settle for less because they feel their spouse contributed more, or feel guilt from initiating a divorce and do not want to ask for too much. Fortunately, Illinois is an equitable distribution state. Therefore, if you and your spouse cannot agree on fair terms for asset distribution and are forced to go to court, a judge will divide assets fairly. Be sure that you and your spouse are also fairly dividing your debts. Many people find themselves stuck with a larger amount of debt than their ex after divorce, making it even more difficult to become financially stable as a single person.

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 Posted on November 05, 2015 in Visitation

Blended families, where there is a mix of children from previous relationships as well as children from the current relationship, are increasingly common. While blended families can help instill a sense of stability in children, they can also take a lot of work. One common issue is the existence of multiple parenting time schedules for different children. Trying to sync schedules with everyone can be a nightmare.

Stay Flexible

The first principle in trying to get all of the children on a workable schedule is to remain flexible. You will often have to ask another parent to make a special accommodation for you. When asking for a favor, the more flexible you can be on the timing, the more likely you are to get what you want. If you are flexible when you are asked by the other parent for a schedule change, the more likely he or she will be to accommodate your requests.

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 Posted on November 03, 2015 in Family Law

The number of unwed parents in America has risen drastically over the past few years. A 2012 study, conducted by Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, reported that 1 in 4 babies in the U.S. are born to unmarried parents. While it was once assumed that birth outside of marriage meant that one parent was likely not present, the currently growing trend is for parents to cohabitate without getting married. On the surface, cohabitating couples look just like married ones. They live together, and both work together to support their children. As marriage becomes less and less important to generations of young Americans, experts predict many more couples will choose cohabitation over marriage in the future. Does cohabitation versus marriage have any impact on the health and well-being of children?

Cohabitation Gains Popularity

Since the late 1990’s, the number of parents living together, unmarried, has skyrocketed. In 1996, 1.2 million children lived with unwed parents. Jump to 2014, and that number has grown to over 3 million children. In the past, many couples faced religious and societal pressure to get married before moving in together or having children, so it makes sense that cohabitation was less common. Modern society is much accepting and less strict, so it is no surprise that parents are skipping marriage, choosing to cohabitate and have children instead. Other experts suggest the recession could be another cause for the higher numbers. They say the bad economy has led many couples to choose to wait to get married until money becomes less tight, but, in the meantime, life happens, and many find themselves living together with children.

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 Posted on October 31, 2015 in Domestic Violence

One of the most troubling aspects of domestic violence is that victims are often reluctant to report anything. Many domestic violence cases are never reported, leaving the victims to fend for themselves with no help. Victims do not report domestic violence or assaults for many reasons; fear of retaliation from their abusive spouse, fear of financial repercussions, or a fear of not being believed by authorities.

While the State of Illinois has many programs and institutions in place to help victims and families involved in cases of domestic violence, the help is only available to those who can ask for it. In an effort to help spread awareness and put information in the hands of domestic violence victims, Illinois lawmakers have introduced a new proposed law. Soon, hair stylists and barbers could be on the front lines of the fight against domestic violence.

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 Posted on October 29, 2015 in Divorce

According to statistics from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, at least 24.6 percent of people aged 18 and older reported an alcohol use disorder in 2013. It is the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States, and it is one of the least discussed, but among the most problematic issues in marriages today. Some are trying to change the secrecy and stigma surrounding this monumental problem in hopes of changing the lives and futures of others.

Alcoholics No Longer Anonymous?

Alcoholism was first labeled as a disease by the American Medical Association in 1956. Unfortunately, very little has changed in the way society views alcoholism. Most still consider it a personal weakness or unwillingness to “just quit.” The truth is that alcoholism, like other substance use disorders, is a medical condition that can be overcome with proper treatment and determination on the part of the sufferer.

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 Posted on October 28, 2015 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Divorce cases can be the most difficult cases to settle. Everything is personal. Both sides often feel hurt, and both sides usually believe they are acting fairly and in the best interest of the children and their own future. But, when the parties can reach a settlement instead of going to a trial, both sides are usually happier with the outcome. Mediation is sometimes the only way to bring two soon to be ex-spouses together to work out an agreement.

How Mediation Works

Mediation in most instances is voluntary. A mediator is a neutral third party who helps the two sides find common ground and craft an agreement. Mediators are not free. Usually, each side pays half of the mediator’s fee.

Every mediator works differently. Often the mediator has each side with their lawyers in separate rooms. Then the mediator goes between the rooms to settle the case. The most effective mediators are ones that have a deep understanding of family law and can help each side understand the possible consequences of not reaching a deal.

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 Posted on October 26, 2015 in Divorce

When it comes to co-parenting, communication is the key to everything. Maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex can be extremely trying at times, but communicating about all things child-related is necessary for the well being of your children. For you, however, speaking with your ex, or even texting them, can be challenging if the two of you are fighting. Handling a conflict between you and your ex is difficult. You may still be facing various leftover emotions from your divorce: pain, anger, hurt, frustration, and sadness. While letting go of those emotions is tough, resolving and moving past conflicts with your ex is the easiest way to make your life feel normal again.

Be Self Aware

No matter what face you put on when you see your ex, if you are still holding on to frustrations and anger from your divorce, those feelings will come through in your conversations. The first step in resolving conflict with your ex is processing your own emotions. How can you expect your ex to be friendly if you are holding on to anger? Work on forgiving, or at the very least, acknowledge that letting go of your negativity will make things easier for you.

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 Posted on October 24, 2015 in Child Custody

Fall’s official arrival means the holidays are just around the corner. Three major approaching holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, are all great times to get together as a family. All three are days to relax, have fun, and enjoy great food and company. Relaxing can be hard, however, if you have to handle the holidays as a co-parent. For divorced families, the holiday season can be stressful and emotionally painful. For the first time this year, many recently divorced parents will have a court-ordered parenting plan that more or less dictates how they get to spend each holiday with their children. Many other families have had to deal with this challenge for years. Transitioning from spending holidays as a family to a court mandated schedule is a difficult change to overcome, but there are ways to lessen the stress.

Review Your Parenting Plan

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 Posted on October 22, 2015 in Child Custody

Going through a divorce is stressful, expensive, and emotionally draining. Add children into the mix, and the situation becomes even more difficult. Even the most amicable of divorces involving children have their tense moments, as parents do their best to establish a plan for raising their children post divorce. Many parents, however, face less than amicable spouses that intend to fight against them for the custody of their children. Fighting for child custody is one of the most difficult, emotional processes a parent can go through. A child custody battle should not be taken lightly, and involves serious preparation by any party that intends on being involved in the child’s life. If you foresee a difficult court battle against your spouse, these steps can help you prepare for your time in court.

Find an Attorney

For those fortunate enough to be divorcing amicably, hiring an attorney may not be necessary. Many parents that divorce peacefully are able to negotiate a custody agreement that works for both of them outside of court. If you anticipate a fight from your ex, however, hiring a qualified attorney is extremely important. Your ex, if they intend to fight against you for child custody, has likely already hired an attorney, so it is important that you find representation for yourself.

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 Posted on October 09, 2015 in Divorce

Divorce is about ending an unhappy marriage and starting new. Starting new, however, is easier said than done. For most divorcing couples, the transition from married life to independence is challenging. Changing from a life of support from your spouse, and the financial security of two incomes is tough. The happiest, most successful, divorcees are those that plan ahead for their upcoming life as a single person. Financial preparedness can help make your transition much less stressful. Provide yourself with financial peace of mind by following these key tips.

1. Assess Your Current Financial Situation

One of the most common misconceptions about divorce is that lifestyles will remain the same. You and your spouse's incomes may have supported a very comfortable life together, but that same amount of money is not going to stretch as far for two separate households. To help you better prepare for financial independence, assess the income and expenses of your current shared household. Review your bank and credit card statements. Consider all income sources that you and your spouse share. Once you have a handle on your combined income and expenses, you will be able to map out your upcoming expenses as a single person and if you will be able to afford them or not.

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