Posted on January 26, 2016 in Divorce

Think divorce is a complicated process? Try applying for financial aid to cover the costs of college tuition after a divorce. For parents all across the United States, the rising costs of college tuition are a burden for their family, and many parents rely on the help of financial aid to pay for their child’s college education. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid, known as FAFSA, is complex enough for married couples with children, and can be even more perplexing for co-parents who have been divorced. In some situations, divorce can mean a child may benefit from special rules. In other, more unfortunate cases, divorce may lead to a child receiving a smaller than expected sum of financial aid. Considering the amount of funding your student receives for college depends on FAFSA, completing the application correctly is vital. Here are a few things divorced parents need to be aware of while seeking financial aid for their future college student.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 21, 2016 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Divorce is a stressful process for everyone involved, but experts recommend divorcing parents do their best to stay focused on the number one priority in their lives; their children. Spouses tend to hire professionals to represent and assist them, be it attorneys, mediators, or other divorce experts, but in many cases, children going through divorce have no voice. Divorcing parents must remember that divorce affects everyone involved. For many children, divorce can mean new living arrangements, time apart from a parent, and a new lifestyle, all changes that can be difficult to process, especially as a child. For parents hoping to protect and prioritize their children during divorce, experts recommend a non-adversarial divorce process known as child-focused mediation.

What Is Child-Focused Mediation?

Child-focused mediation is a type of mediation that originated in New Zealand and Australia, both places where collaborative divorce methods are used frequently by the court systems. The goal of child focused mediation is not to bring a child into the middle of the chaos of a divorce, but rather to ensure that their voice is heard during the process, and that they are advocated for. Mediators may use different methods, but the end goal and result is always the same; to provide a voice for children caught in the middle of divorce and to ensure that divorcing parents are aware that every decision they make can impact their children. Mediators agree that divorce is not an ‘adult-only’ problem, and child focused mediators are trained in a variety of techniques to help divorcing families shift the focus to their children. To do this, experts say parents need to avoid the conflict-focused state of mind that is typical during the divorce process, and instead adopt a child-focused state of mind.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 19, 2016 in Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is, unfortunately, a major problem in America. Each year, attorneys and court officials deal with millions of domestic violence-related cases, and experts say many more instances of domestic violence go unreported. While we tend to focus on the victim of the violence and the perpetrator, there is a commonly a third party affected by domestic violence and abuse: children. Despite the commonly-held belief that children are not aware of every situation taking place between their parents or guardians, studies show that even young children are aware of and affected by domestic violence taking place in their home. For children, the effects of being around domestic violence are very serious and can last a lifetime.

“It does have effects,” says the chief executive officer of America’s National Domestic Violence Hotline. “No matter how much you believe it is hidden from them or out of sight, children know what is happening and they worry and they stress.” In fact, recent research shows that 90 percent of children who live in homes where domestic violence occurs are aware that the violence is taking place. Experts and advocates are alarmed by this number, and say that means children in these unfortunate situations are constantly dealing with stress and anxiety, among other issues. Therapists say that stress and anxiety in children can lead to anger, sadness, rage, confusion, and even guilt. “Some kids blame themselves” says one social worker experienced in domestic violence cases. Experts indicate that parents often believe believe that despite the violence occurring in their home, their children are better off being raised by two parents versus being removed from the violent situation. Advocates and experts believe that, in almost every case, removing a child from the violence is the right choice. While breaking apart a family may be tough, the effects of domestic violence on children far outweigh the separation process.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 14, 2016 in Divorce

For most people, divorce brings about many lifestyle changes. Moving, sharing parenting time, and establishing financial independence are all part of the divorce process, and while the transition from married to single life can be difficult, every change is part of a larger process that will hopefully lead you to more personal freedom and happiness. One change that can be particularly challenging is searching for employment post-divorce. If you held a career during your marriage, financial independence will come much easier to you. Maybe, however, you are no longer happy with your current job, and as you transition out of a bad marriage you would like to pursue other career options. Or, if you are like millions of divorced Americans, you were the stay at home parent or did not work during your marriage, and now face the challenge of supporting yourself. Whatever your situation may be, searching for a job after divorce can be difficult. If you have been out of the workforce for a while, you may no longer know what employers are looking for and expecting from potential candidates. Maybe you have not interviewed for a position in 20 years. While landing a good job can seem like a daunting task, following these post divorce job hunting tips will set you well on your way to a new career.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 12, 2016 in Family Law

January is always a busy month for divorce lawyers, and this year should be no different for Illinois attorneys. The beginning of each year is a popular time for divorce, and while attorneys, court officials, and other divorce experts in Illinois prepare for the surge, they also have another change to prepare for. For the first time in decades, the Illinois General Assembly passed a major revision of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, bringing with it many new changes to how divorce is handled in the state. While many of the updates are minor, such as changes in wording, a few of changes are quite substantial, and will change how Illinois courts and those going through divorce handle the divorce process. If you are divorcing in 2016 in Illinois, here is what you need to know.

Terminology Changes

As society’s views and opinions on marriage and divorce change, it is only natural that state laws will change as well. Many of the edits to divorce law in Illinois will do little to actually change any processes, but rather update the law’s terminology to reflect modern society. For example, in light of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on same-sex marriage in the United States, Illinois divorce law now uses the term “spouse” versus “husband and wife.”

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 07, 2016 in Family Law

Co-parenting can be a challenge, especially if you are still dealing with unresolved feelings towards your ex. It is important to remember that, despite any unfortunate feelings you or your ex may be harboring, the priority as a co-parent is always your children. Divorce can be extremely difficult for everyone involved, but the transition is especially difficult on children, who may not fully understand the situation. They may blame themselves for the separation, have difficulty transitioning from one home to two, or face a number of other challenges due to their parent’s divorce. With 2016 just underway, resolve to make this year the best year for your children. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions both you and your co-parent can make to ensure your children feel loved, safe, and understand they are always your top priority.

Resolve to Empathize with Your Children

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on January 05, 2016 in Child Custody

Co-parenting is often much easier said than done. Even the most amicable of divorced couples armed with a well laid out parenting plan face changes, challenges, and frustrations. Children are unpredictable. As they grow up, their needs can change drastically. One year, a child may be interested in after-school piano lessons, only to develop an interest in horseback riding a year later. With the unpredictability of children comes the burden of sharing costs as co-parents. Where once you and your spouse likely shared finances, and worked together towards providing a great future for yourselves and your children, you are both now on your own, and probably in differing financial situations. Splitting the cost of raising children is often challenging, especially if you and your spouse disagree on how you each spend money on your children. How can co-parents ensure they are successfully splitting the costs of raising their children?

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 24, 2015 in Divorce

December is often a quiet month for divorce attorneys. Divorce trends show that divorces dip in December, only to quickly pick back up after New Year’s Day and peak in March. In fact, January sees such a large spike in divorces that divorce attorneys and other experts consider the first Monday of the New Year ‘Divorce Monday.’ Attorneys across the United States report experiencing the spike in divorce filings, and experts in foreign countries like the United Kingdom say they see the same thing. Why do people across the world choose to get divorced at the start of a new year?

Pressure During the Holidays

Marriage and divorce experts say one of the major reasons divorces lull in December and pick back up in January is that families are hesitant to separate during the holidays. This is especially true for married couples with children, who feel they have a responsibility to keep the holidays festive and happy for their children. Many parents justify waiting until after the holidays to give their children one last holiday as a family, though they may be setting themselves up for trouble. There are high expectations around the holidays, and couples who are already heading towards a divorce may find themselves fighting more than ever. The tension around the holidays is likely a reason divorces spike in January. Couples may choose to stick it out for the sake of their children, but are often quick to speak to their attorney about getting their divorce started as soon as the New Year arrives.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 22, 2015 in Divorce

Bullying can come in a variety of forms. Bullies usually prey on targets they believe to be weaker than they are, using their bullying to get their way or to exert their power over others. Most people encounter bullying early in life, like on the school playground, and deal with bullying in some form throughout their lives. While it is never fun to be the victim of bullying, it can be especially difficult to deal with when going through a divorce. Adding bullying into the emotional turmoil of a major life change, like a divorce, can lead to serious mental and physical consequences for the victim. Here is what you need to know about divorce bullying, and how you can save yourself and your loved ones from being victims of it.

What Is Divorce Bullying?

In a marriage, if one partner consistently bullies the other, it would likely be classified as abuse. There are, however, many cases in which one typically friendly spouse becomes a bully during the divorce process. This is what experts call divorce bullying. As with most cases of bullying, divorce bullies likely become bullies because of their own insecurities or emotional problems. They likely are not able to process the divorce themselves, and rather than dealing with their own issues, decide to express their feelings through bullying their soon to be ex. Bullies use our fears and insecurities against us, making us feel powerless against them. This is especially dangerous in divorce cases. Who else knows as much about our fears, insecurities, and personal issues than our spouses. Of all people, spouses likely have the most ammunition to bully us with.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 17, 2015 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Mediation is a great method of conflict resolution. The process of mediation involves two disagreeing parties coming together, meeting with a neutral mediator, and working together to find an agreeable outcome for both parties. Mediation is a helpful strategy for any situation involving conflict, but it is especially useful for couples going through a divorce. The process provides flexibility for both parties and more control over the decision making process, and is typically faster and more cost effective compared to other, more aggressive proceedings. If you and your spouse are headed towards divorce, there are many reasons you should consider mediation.

Cost-Effective

Divorce puts a financial strain on many families. Between costly legal fees and time away from work spent battling in court, the costs of divorce can add up quickly. If you and your spouse can tolerate being in the same room as each other, and are prepared to work together to find an agreeable outcome for both of you, consider mediation. Typically, both you and your spouse will only pay one mediator who will work with you together. You will just pay for the time spent meeting with the mediator, which is often relatively cost-effective when split between two people.

Continue Reading ››