Posted on June 21, 2016 in Divorce

Unless you have been through a divorce already, anticipating what the process could be like is difficult. Most people do not have experience with the legal system, meaning that divorce is often their first foray into the legal world. This lack of knowledge can make deciding whether to divorce or not difficult. Friends, family members, and other acquaintances may offer you information or advice on the divorce process, but there is a likelihood that some of what they tell you is wrong. Myths about divorce can be damaging. They can lead people to making unwise decisions, or taking actions that they may regret. Instead of taking the advice of friends and family, it is always beneficial to consult with an experienced divorce attorney. A qualified attorney can review your case, fill you in on how the process works, and respond to your questions, and help bust the many myths about divorce. In the meantime, here are a few common divorce myths and the truth behind them.

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 Posted on June 16, 2016 in Divorce

A recent survey asked divorcees over 50 years old two simple questions. What is the best aspect of being divorced over 50, and what is the worst aspect? Most respondents said the best aspect of their gray divorce was the freedom it provided them. On the other hand, a majority of responders said loneliness, or the fear of loneliness, was the biggest negative factor. Loneliness is a big factor in anyone’s decision to divorce. Most people do not plan on ending their marriage, but for those over 50, moving on post-divorce can be especially difficult. Based on the survey’s results, it is reasonable to assume that some older individuals are choosing to stay in unhappy marriages out of the fear of being lonely. This, however, is often a mistake. Instead, here are three steps to guide you through handling and eventually defeating loneliness as a gray divorcee.

Survive

No matter how old you are, or where you are in your life, you deserve happiness. Fear of being lonely is a legitimate concern, and frankly, most people are lonely after their divorce. Does this mean you should waste a decade or two of your life in an unhappy relationship? No. Instead, should you decide to divorce, plan ahead for the loneliness you will likely experience. Divorce has many challenges, including legal battles, handling financial issues, and dealing with any children involved. Consider loneliness just another one of those negatives. Planning for feeling alone can help soften the impact. In fact, you probably have already felt some form of loneliness or disconnect from your spouse, considering you are thinking of divorce. Tell yourself that you may even enjoy some solitude. Take that time to reflect back, and learn more about yourself. You will survive.

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 Posted on June 14, 2016 in Divorce

Could ending your marriage lead to a decline in your nutrition? Yes, says a new Social Science & Medicine study conducted in the United Kingdom, but apparently only for men. Divorce can be a challenging experience, and it is common for nutrition to fall by the wayside during a stressful separation, but it now appears that long-term declines in nutrition are affecting men for years after divorce, leading to potential health risks.

Diet Decline

Past studies have explored how marriage affects one’s diet, but little research has ever been conducted on how a divorce or separation can affect long-term nutritional health. In this recent study, researchers examined the health of nearly 12,000 participants over a 4 year period. Participants were asked to estimate how many fruits and vegetables they incorporated into their diets. At the start of the study, many of the men and women were married or in long term relationships, but by the end, 2.4 percent of men and 4.5 percent of women involved had become divorced, widowed, or separated.

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 Posted on June 09, 2016 in Divorce

Divorces happen for a variety of reasons. In some cases, a divorce request comes as a surprise for one spouse. In others, there are multiple signs that indicate that a divorce is looming, and finally separating comes as no surprise. A new survey of thousands of divorce couples show that there are a few common signs that may forecast a divorce. From affairs to lying to drug and alcohol addiction, here are eight behaviors that often point to a couple’s divorce in the future.

Continuous Lying

A healthy marriage revolves around trust, and any amount of lying can quickly put a marriage in jeopardy. Lying about anything, no matter how large or small, will lead to your partner questioning if they can trust you. Being secretive is also an indicator of a looming divorce. Chances are that if a spouse is engaging in secretive behaviors, they are doing so knowing that what they are doing is wrong.

Heavy Drug or Alcohol Use

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 Posted on June 07, 2016 in Divorce

If you are in the middle of divorce, you may feel nervous, uncertain, or scared about the future. While divorce does have its negative aspects, it can also truly change your life for the better. It is easy to get wrapped up in the sadness, pain, and grief caused by your divorce, and while you may feel significant pain during and after your separation, the future can and will get better. Slowly you will start to feel more empowered, more independent, and better able to tackle whatever life brings. If you are struggling to get past the negativity of divorce, remind yourself of these five positives of life post divorce.

Financial Freedom

Many couples cite finances as a major marital strain. If you and your spouse had different ideas about your shared finances, your post-divorce life is the perfect opportunity to rebuild your finances and manage money however you choose. Many people, frequently women, do not have the opportunity to make financial decisions during their marriage. Financial independence for someone with little knowledge of managing money can seem daunting, but account managers and other financial specialists are always available to help.

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 Posted on May 26, 2016 in Divorce

Any successful marriage takes work. Both partners need excellent communication, trust, love, commitment, and a willingness to work together, among many other factors. Without work from both spouses, even a great marriage can quickly unravel. Could your career be impacting your marriage, or leading you towards divorce? According to a recently released British study which examined the correlation between occupations and divorce rates, there are in fact some careers that are more likely to lead to divorce than others.

Could Your Job End Your Marriage?

The study found that many different fields of occupation up the chances a couple’s marriage will end in divorce. Of course, every marriage is different, and many who work in one of the higher risk of divorce jobs maintain successful marriages, but there do seem to be some reasons why certain jobs up your chances of divorce. Some of the higher risk jobs include:

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 Posted on May 24, 2016 in Divorce

Drug or alcohol addiction is difficult in every circumstance, but for those married to an addict, the challenge can be even greater. Being married to an addict, no matter how much love is present, can be nearly impossible, especially if the addict is unwilling to admit their problem or seek help. Unfortunately, for many, divorce is the only option. Divorcing an addict can be challenging, but you are not alone. Millions of Americans are married to addicts, stuck feeling helplessly trapped by their spouse’s addiction. If therapy, counseling, and other solutions have done nothing to improve your situation, divorcing your spouse may be your next step. Here is what you need to know about divorcing an addict.

How Addiction Can Destroy a Marriage

Addiction is a serious illness for the addict and for any friends and family members trying to support them. Addiction in a marriage can quickly cause problems. Addicts often adopt anti-social tendencies, abdicate responsibilities, and engage in self-destructive behaviors. If children are involved, a spouse struggling with addiction can easily become unable or unfit to parent, especially if they consume alcohol or their drug of choice around the children. Additionally, addicts often steal, and an addict spouse could easily use vital family money to fund their addiction.

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 Posted on May 19, 2016 in Child Custody

Many parents fear the impact their divorce may have on their children. Will separating scar them? Will the transition from one home to two be too difficult? Will they ever know what a healthy relationship is like? In reality, with the divorce rate in America being as high as it is, children survive divorce all the time. The initial separation and transition period afterwards may be difficult, but children are resilient. Some parents however, hoping to prioritize their children and spare them some divorce pain, have opted for a co-parenting arrangement that is gaining popularity across the country. Birdnesting, or “bird’s nest” co-parenting, allows the children to remain in their family home, while the parents rotate in and out according to a set schedule.

How Does Birdnesting Work?

In a typical divorce involving children, the parents separate, one or both move, and the children split their time between both parents at separate households. With birdnesting, the children get to remain in the family’s home, and the parents, who are more easily able to deal with change, rotate in and out. While one parent resides in the family home and parents the children, the other lives in a separate dwelling of some kind. The parents then take turns moving in and out of the home in accordance with their co-parenting schedule.

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 Posted on May 17, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce is no walk in the park. In fact, divorce is often considered the second most stressful event a person can experience in life, after the death of a spouse. Maintaining any sense of normalcy while going through a divorce can be challenging. For those with jobs, just surviving the work day can be difficult. How can you be expected to be a productive professional when even getting out of bed seems impossible? First, know you are not alone. Most people struggle with work while going through the divorce process. With the incoming calls, emails from attorneys, divorce preparation, and the wide range of emotions to process, how is one expected to focus on work? If you are struggling to remain productive at work while going through a divorce, follow these tips that can help you stay distraction free and focused.

Talk to the Right People

If you are trying not to think about your divorce during work hours, your best course of action is to limit who knows about the situation. Certainly your closest coworkers, if they are personal friends, can be informed, but the last thing you need is constant questions and reminders from coworkers about your personal life. Ask the few coworkers you do tell to keep the news to themselves. You do not need everyone in your office checking in on you and asking about your divorce.

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 Posted on May 12, 2016 in Divorce

Each year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) releases data collected from Americans across the country covering their feelings and opinions on a variety of family issues. These include same sex marriage, cohabitation prior to marriage, and divorce. For many, the most recently released data included a surprise. American opinions on non-marital relationships, sex before marriage, same-sex adoption, and children born out of wedlock have grown increasingly liberal. This is hardly surprising. When asked about divorce however, a majority of Americans responded that they believe it is not an acceptable solution to marital problems. Why have Americans become significantly more liberal towards alternative family arrangements, yet more conservative towards divorce? The answer is, contrary to popular opinion, that marriage in America is not dying. The meaning of marriage has simply changed.

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