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Three Keys to Successful Co-Parenting

 Posted on July 07, 2016 in Child Custody

Naperville family law attorneyModern parenting is quite different from the parenting of past generations. Many of today’s parents are in co-parenting arrangements, meaning they are either divorced or separated but both maintain responsibility for their child. Parenting with an ex does have it’s unique challenges, but co-parenting arrangements are often the most ideal outcome of divorce for the children involved, as maintaining a healthy relationship with both parents is vital to a child’s well-being. There are many factors that contribute to a successful co-parenting relationship. Both parents must be willing to set aside their differences, communicate well, and agree to focus solely on the needs of their child. If you are a co-parent, or are about to start co-parenting, pay attention to these three factors that are essential to any healthy co-parenting arrangement.

Avoid Conflict

As one would imagine, co-parenting with someone you have previously been married to can be challenging. Your relationship ended for a reason, and both you and your ex are likely holding on to some unresolved emotions. Whether you wanted the relationship to end or not, a marriage ending is a life-altering event. You and your partner made plans with each other and envisioned a life together, and now, that is no longer the future. It is normal for both parties to grieve the end of their marriage, and feeling angry is part of the grieving process. That said, it is important that you avoid conflict when co-parenting. Children need a healthy, conflict-free environment, and also need to know that they have the love and support of both of their parents. Despite any feelings you may have towards your ex, the focus has now shifted to your child. Anything else comes second.

Focus on Your Child’s Needs

As co-parents, both you and your ex should be prioritizing the needs of your child. Be sure that both of you are focused on positive things in your child’s life - school, health care, and extracurricular activities for example. You both should encourage your child to explore, be creative, and build relationships. Divorce is often difficult on children, so it is important that both you and your ex focus on keeping your child happy and healthy.

Keep Communicating

Successful co-parenting requires great communication. Sharing information between the two of you is vital. Both parents should be up to date on the well-being of their child. Each of you should know how your child is doing in school, how their last doctors visit went, what activities they have coming up, and other important aspects of your child's life. Communicating with an ex can be challenging, however, so it is important that both of you do your best to keep any communication conflict-free. Specialists recommend communicating as if you were co-workers. If you would not write something in an email at work, do not write it in an email to your ex. Fortunately for parents who struggle with communicating, a slew of new co-parenting apps are available for smart phones and tablets to help keep communicating and co-parenting easy.

Our Team Is Here to Help

Whether you need divorce support or help with another family law matter, the team at Pesce Law Group, P.C., is here to help. We offer a wide variety of divorce and family law solutions depending on your needs. Call 630-352-2240 or visit us online to learn more about how our experienced DuPage County divorce and family law attorneys can assist you.


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