Posted on March 08, 2016 in Child Custody

Adjusting to life as a co-parent can be challenging. While you and your spouse were once a united parenting front, you will now need to employ patience and cooperation while parenting with your ex whose parenting style may differ greatly from yours. It can be troubling to watch your children be influenced by a parent whose values do not match yours, but what can be done? Consistency is the key to good co-parenting, and makes the divorce adjustment process much easier on children as well. Talk to your spouse about the importance of consistency as you two move forward as co-parents in the wake of your divorce.

Why Is Consistency Important?

Consistency allows for the smoothest divorce transition possible. Co-parents are encouraged to maintain the same routines, household rules, and habits that they previously established in their shared household. This makes the divorce process much easier on the children, who can become easily confused if rules at mom’s house are different than the rule’s at dads house. In a difficult time of transition, like divorce, children need consistency to provide some sense of normalcy.

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 Posted on February 29, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce can be a touchy subject. If you are considering a divorce, you are likely nervous about how to bring up the subject with your spouse. Asking for a divorce can be one of the most challenging things you will ever do in your life, so it is important that you proceed with caution. The goal should be to discuss the subject openly and honestly, and prepare yourselves for an amicable divorce process. While asking your spouse for a divorce may be difficult at the time, it may be the first step to bringing both of you greater happiness in life. Recently, a few marriage and divorce experts from across the country shared some dos and don’ts to keep in mind when broaching the subject of divorce with your spouse.

Pick a Good Time

Marriage and divorce specialists say that choosing an ideal time to have the divorce discussion with your spouse is extremely important. Pick a time where both of you can talk, uninterrupted and free from distractions. Turn your phones off, make other arrangements for the kids, and allow yourselves space to have an honest conversation. Avoid casually dropping that you would like a divorce. All too often, one spouse will say they want a divorce during an argument or another tense situation, and this only sets the stage for further conflict during the process.

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 Posted on February 24, 2016 in Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a major issue in America, and despite growing awareness and media coverage, many victims across the country suffer without help. Some victims fear they will not be believed if they report the abuse. Others fear retaliation from their abuser. In just one day, domestic violence hotlines across the country receive over 20,000 phone calls. In Illinois, victims of domestic violence do not need to suffer. An order of protection can help victims of domestic violence escape their abuser and stay out of harm's way while additional help is received.

Orders of Protection in Illinois

Victims of domestic violence are eligible to get orders of protection in Illinois. These orders prevent an abuser from further harming the victim, and may include other restrictions. The order may require that the abuser to stay away from the victim and their other family members, may limit their communication or prevent communication completely, and could restrict any potentially abusive behavior such as harassment or stalking. An order of protection, depending on its requirements, may also order the abuser to take actions to better themselves, such as attending a treatment program or counseling session. They can also require abusers to pay child support.

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 Posted on February 18, 2016 in Divorce

Even couples expecting an amicable divorce should prepare for unexpected turns. Divorce is challenging, both emotionally and financially, and those about to file for divorce should take steps beforehand to prepare themselves for the process. Give yourself an advantage heading into your divorce by following these tips to help you feel empowered and ready for the proceedings.

Understand Your Financial Situation

If you are hoping to keep your divorce as short as possible, it is in your best interest to build an understanding of your household’s financial situation before filing. Attorneys say that all too often their clients come in lacking important information on their finances, and searching for them after filing with only lengthen the process. Instead, it is recommended to gather important financial documents, things like tax returns, credit reports, and financial statements before you initiate the divorce process. In doing so, you and your attorney can immediately begin devising a plan. If possible, gather your information from outside sources, like a business manager or accountant, to ensure you are getting the most detailed information you can.

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 Posted on February 16, 2016 in Divorce

With the wide variety of communication methods available today, many divorced people report receiving hostile emails, text messages, or letters from their ex-spouse. Divorce is not an easy process, and times of conflict tend to make people emotional. Your spouse may be angry, sad, or still processing your divorce in some way. Receiving an angry letter or email from your spouse can be upsetting, and you may be wondering how to proceed. Should you respond? What should your response include? Should you be worried? This is a person you once loved, and may even share children with, so how you handle yourself is important. In addition to potentially harming your relationship, if any of your divorce proceedings are not settled, your response could impact the outcome of your case as well.

Should I Respond?

In reality, most hostile texts, emails, or letters do not require any response. Angry letters from an ex do not typically hold legal significance, so if you can let it go, do so. Responding will only escalate the issue, and will likely encourage your ex to respond again. If your ex is simply venting, let them. Their communication only holds power over you if you allow it.

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 Posted on February 11, 2016 in Child Custody

During a divorce case, if a couple cannot agree on a parenting plan, a judge will decide on parenting issues. In this scenario, it is common for a judge to seek the help of a custody evaluator. While the laws in Illinois have been recently been amended to utilize the new phrase "allocation of parental responsibilities," the more casual term "custody" is still commonly used when referring to evaluations and evaluators.

The role of a custody evaluator is to gather information on a family and their specific case, and then report back to the court with a recommendation of how parenting time and responsibilities should be allotted. This evaluation can be one of the most important elements that divorcing parents face, and while judges are not required to act on the recommendation of evaluators, courts frequently do use the information provided by the evaluator when making their final decisions. You, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and your children may meet with an evaluator in his or her office, or a home visit may be scheduled. Though these meetings can be stressful, there are a few tips parents can follow to ensure they are prepared for the evaluation.

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 Posted on February 09, 2016 in Divorce

For many couples, February is a month of love. Valentine's day is the perfect time to show your love and support for your spouse. Trends show, however, that for many other couples, the beginning of the year may bring with it the end of their marriage. Many unhappy couples choose to file for divorce at the beginning of the year, likely hoping for a fresh start. So while happier couples are making plans for Valentines day, those about to start a divorce are likely planning financially for the costs ahead. While predetermining a cost for your divorce is difficult, due to the fact that each divorce case is different, in the United States, the average cost of a divorce is typically $15,000 to $20,000. Of course, the cost of your divorce will depend on many different factors. One important factor, which may be surprising, is what state in which you live. A recent survey examined the costs of divorce in each of the United States. Take a look at a few states with the most and least expensive divorces.

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 Posted on February 04, 2016 in Domestic Violence

We all know that domestic violence is a dangerous problem in America. Recent reports have shown that about 25 percent of heterosexual women experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. This alarmingly high rate includes any sexual, physical, or psychological harm inflicted on a victim by a current or past partner. Researchers have studied domestic violence since the 1970’s, but have primarily focused on opposite-sex relationships where women are abused by a male partner. Thanks to last summer’s Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, LGBTQ individuals across the country are now legally able to marry in every state. Do people in same-sex relationships and marriage experience domestic violence at a similar rate to heterosexual couples? Researchers from Chicago’s Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine say yes, same sex couples do experience domestic violence, and in fact, at possibly higher rates than straight couples.

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 Posted on February 02, 2016 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

As is the case with any major life change, going through a divorce can be an extremely emotional experience. For some people, the thought of adding the conflict of a typical divorce proceeding into the mix is too much. Is there an option for those who are looking for a more peaceful method of divorce? Fortunately, a recent development in family law, known as collaborative divorce, has proven successful for many couples hoping to split up amicably. If you are hoping to avoid a costly, emotionally draining, and potentially conflicted divorce proceeding, collaborative divorce may be the right choice for you. Here is what you need to know.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is often likened to another more peaceful divorce alternative; mediation. While mediation and collaborative divorce do share similarities, one major difference between the two is that mediation involves impartial mediators, while collaborative divorce involves lawyers to represent both spouses. Rather than face off in a courtroom, collaborative divorce attorneys agree to focus on cooperation between both parties and work towards drafting a divorce agreement both parties can agree to. Instead of litigation and adversarial strategies, collaborative divorce attorneys use techniques to maintain positive negotiations between both parties. All parties involved commit to finding an amicable outcome and agree that no litigation will take place during the collaborative negotiations. Parties agree to predetermined terms, such as:

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 Posted on January 28, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce is often a painful experience for everyone involved. Even when a divorce happens for all the right reasons, the process is still stressful and emotional. Spouses going through a divorce face a long emotional process likely including a mix of pain, sadness, anger, nervousness, frustration, and regret. If children are involved, they will be dealing with their own mix of emotions, and may even take the divorce harder than the parents. When divorce happens, we often tend to sympathize with the couple themselves, and any children involved. But what about another party that likely faces the challenge of coping with divorce: the parents of the divorcing couple? Watching a child get divorced can be one of the most painful and difficult experiences a parent can go through.

You may fear for their future well-being, question your own parenting, and, if grandchildren are involved, you may worry about them and your ability to see them. Parents should do their best to be strong and supportive for their child, which can be difficult when they themselves are likely grieving the end of the marriage as well. If your child is about to divorce or already in the middle of the divorce process, experts recommend following a few tips to ensure that you are as supportive and helpful as possible to your child.

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