While divorce rates in the United States are notoriously high, at up to an estimated 40 percent, the reasons behind the divorce rates are more complex than initial statistics suggest. Social scientists have long studied the complex human relationships that form love and marital bonds, and while certain factors can contribute to divorce rates (like early marriage or cohabitation before marriage), people who have gotten divorced have directly shared their reasoning as well. Here are six of the most common reasons that people in Illinois get divorced. 

Lack of Commitment

While couples will often give different reasons for why they got divorced, lack of commitment is frequently cited by both spouses as the reason the marriage ultimately fell apart. Lack of commitment can manifest in other ways, such as cheating and not being willing to work on the relationship, but many people feel as though the true issue underlying these other problems is a lack of commitment to the marriage itself. 

Growing Apart

It can be a good thing or a bad thing, but people change as they grow older. The passage of time, the death of loved ones, and major life events like retirement can dramatically shift our perspectives and priorities. Sometimes, these differences are significant enough to break down a marriage that was built on formerly shared commonalities. 

In addition to the many challenges divorce brings, such as negotiating property division, determining who will move out of the family home, and making parenting arrangements, spouses must figure out how to pay for divorce. This can present particular challenges for spouses who are unemployed or homemakers, but financing divorce can be difficult for everyone. 

However, lacking a clear path towards paying for divorce should not compel anyone to stay in a relationship that has irretrievably broken down. With careful planning, financial conservation, and the help of an experienced Naperville divorce attorney, you can make your divorce work for you. Here are a few things you can do to bring down the cost of divorce in Illinois. 

Consider Doing Some of Your Divorce Yourself

Certain parts of divorce, such as filling out paperwork and delivering it to the appropriate county courthouse, may be easier with the help of an attorney but spouses who are under financial constraints can do it themselves. Limited scope representation is a form of legal representation that allows an attorney to provide assistance to a spouse in the areas where they need it most - without breaking the bank. If you can assess the overall divorce process and determine where you really need help and where you do not, you may be able to reduce your legal fees. 

Many parents worry that, after divorce, their ex will try to poison their child against them. Efforts to do this are known as parental alienation and while parental alienation can sometimes be obvious, more often the signs are subtle and difficult to pin down. The effects of parental alienation on a developing child’s psychological well-being can be damaging and Illinois courts take this behavior from parents seriously. If you are worried your child’s other parent is trying to turn your child against you, read on. 

Parental Alienation is Real

Whether you call it parental alienation, psychological manipulation, or child abuse, behaviors that unjustly cause a child to feel hostility towards a parent are wrong. Children need both of their parents and even when parents feel hostility and anger towards each other, they should do whatever they can to keep kids out of the conflict. Unfortunately, many parents use their children in proxy battles with each other to get revenge for hurt and disappointment during their marriage. 

Alienating behaviors go above and beyond occasionally saying, “Your mother never puts healthy food in your lunchbox!” Rather, parents who constantly belittle or badmouth each other to the child, forbid the child from mentioning the other parent, or withdraw parental love and support when the child expresses love for their other parent may cause a child to reject the parent who is targeted by this behavior.