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Divorce May Actually Benefit Your Children

Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County divorce attorneysMost of us are familiar with the concept of “staying in a marriage for the children.” There is a good chance that you know at least one couple whose happy marriage ended long ago but who have stayed together solely because they did not want to make life difficult for their children. If this describes your own marriage, however, you should be aware that a tense, hostile home environment is often considered to be worse for children than managing a divorce between their parents. While it may seem counterintuitive, your situation could be one in which it might be best to divorce “for the children.”

Ending a Bad Situation

Just as there are many ways to create a happy family situation, there are many ways in which a home environment could become unhealthy. Parents who do not get along with one another often build up walls and cut themselves off emotionally—and, in many cases, physically. This behavior can lead to distant relationships with not only their spouse but with their kids as well.

In other situations, the lack of cooperation and intimacy between the spouses creates an atmosphere of near-constant anxiety and tension. Nobody—including the children—knows exactly how to act to keep the peace. Of course, in the most obviously unhealthy cases, unhappy parents are almost always bickering or fighting with each other. As these battles rage on, a child could easily begin to feel unloved, unimportant, and confused about the future.

A two-parent home is not necessarily a stable home, despite how it may appear to someone on the outside. More importantly, consistency in and of itself is not a positive characteristic of a family situation if the situation is consistently hostile or stressful. A healthy consistency might be possible if you are willing to consider ending the marriage.

Reconnecting With Your Children

Stressors and other distractions in a bad marital relationship often make it challenging for parents to maintain healthy relationships with their children. In the wake of a divorce, many parents are surprised to discover a newfound ability to connect in a profound way with their sons and daughters. In addition to eliminating the unhealthy feelings between the parents—at least on a day-to-day basis, a divorce can also offer parents the opportunity to spend meaningful one-on-one time with each child.

This one-on-one time is especially important in helping your child cope with the realities of divorce. A divorce may be the best choice but that does not mean it will be the easiest. It is also your responsibility to encourage your children to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-spouse, regardless of what you may think of him or her. Making snide comments or blaming your ex for your problems will not help your children so keep such thoughts away from them.

Call Us for Help

If you are stuck in a failing marriage to protect your children, you have options. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney for guidance. Call 60-352-2240 for a confidential consultation with the skilled team at Pesce Law Group, P.C. today.

 

Sources:

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20000801/when-divorce-is-best-for-children

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a34939/end-of-marriage-new-beginning-for-kids

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