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Telling Your Children About Your Upcoming Divorce

 Posted on December 20, 2016 in Divorce

Naperville divorce attorneyDeciding to end your marriage is one of the most difficult choices that you will ever make. Even if you are absolutely convinced that there are no other options, divorce is not easy. Unfortunately, making the decision is only the beginning, especially if you have children. The way in which you present the reality to them will go a long way in helping them to process and understand what is about to happen. As you prepare to tell your children about your divorce, there are several things you should keep in mind.

Schedule a Time

It is extremely important for you and your spouse to take the conversation with your children very seriously. With that in mind, you should set aside some time to sit down with your children—preferably together—so that you can have their undivided attention. There is no way to know for sure how long the discussion will take, as your children may have many questions or they may have very few questions the first time around. As you and your children sit down to talk, be sure to turn off the television and silence your cell phone so that the focus remains where it belongs.

Stay Positive

No matter what circumstances have led you to divorce, your message to your children should be one of hope. They have two parents who will continue to love them and care for them, even as things begin to change. Reassure your children that the divorce has nothing to do with them or anything they did.

Some experts suggest introducing the concept of two homes—meaning that going forward, your children will always be “home” with both parents and never treated as visitors. When talking to your children, do not speak negatively about your spouse, especially if he or she is not present. As your children get older, they may be better equipped to understand your reasons for divorce but now is not the time.

Answer Questions

A divorce-related discussion with your children is probably going to prompt a number of questions. Do your best to answer them in an age-appropriate manner. If you are not sure about the answer, or if decisions have not been made, it is okay to tell your children that you do not know yet. Remind your children that their questions and concerns are always welcome and valid, and then live up to that promise. Your children will experience a wide range of emotions, and you getting annoyed at their questions will only add to their confusion.

Repeat as Needed

Once you and your children have had the initial conversation about your divorce, be ready for the issue to come up again. Divorce is a life-changing decision, and it is not unreasonable to have discussions about the process whenever the need arises. Let your children know that they can always come to you to talk about their worries, fears, or anything else that is on their minds.

At Pesce Law Group, P.C., we understand the difficulties you may be facing as you begin the divorce process, and we are equipped to help you meet those challenges. Contact one of our experienced DuPage County family law attorneys for a free consultation today at any one of our four convenient office locations.


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