I Am Afraid of How My Divorce Will Affect My Children. What Should I Do?

 Posted on January 08, 2026 in Divorce

If you are a parent going through a divorce in DuPage County, you are probably worried about how this major change will affect your children. Many parents try everything possible to keep their marriage together, but sometimes divorce is the right decision for everyone involved. 

The good news is that children can and do live happy, healthy lives with divorced parents. In 2026, there are several steps you can take to help your children cope with this difficult transition. Our Naperville divorce attorneys can help you understand what these might look like in your situation. 

What Should I Tell My Children About the Divorce?

One of the hardest conversations a parent can have is telling your children that they are getting a divorce. How you approach this discussion can make a big difference in how they process the information.

Be Honest, Within Reason

You don’t need to go into adult details, but be honest with your kids. Explain why you and your spouse are getting a divorce. Make it clear that the divorce is not their fault. Children often blame themselves for their parents' problems, so you need to tell them directly that they did nothing to cause the divorce.

Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse

When children hear one parent criticize the other, they may feel like the criticism applies to them too. This can lead to long-term emotional harm. Keep adult conflicts away from your children whenever possible. 

Focus on Your Kids’ Best Interests

Also, Illinois courts must consider the best interests of the child when making decisions about divorced parents’ responsibilities, per 750 ILCS 5/602.7. Part of this is that the court wants parents to work together to support their children emotionally and practically during and after divorce.

How Can I Support My Children Emotionally During Divorce?

Give Them Time

Children react to divorce in many different ways. According to the Child Mind Institute, some will respond negatively straight away. Others may hide their emotions. Many will need time to process their feelings before they are ready to talk. Give your children space to deal with their emotions at their own pace.

Create a Safe Space for Communication

Let your children know you are available to answer questions and listen to their concerns. Do not force conversations, but make sure they understand they can come to you when they are ready. Listen without judgment and validate their feelings. Remind them that both you and your spouse love them and will always be there for them.

Maintain Consistency and Routines

Children do best when their lives have structure and predictability. Try to keep daily routines as much the same as possible. This includes regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and activities. When everything else in their life feels uncertain, having a predictable schedule can help children feel more secure.

It may be tempting to relax the rules or let your children break boundaries during this stressful time. However, keeping rules consistent is actually better for their mental health. Children need to know what to expect from both parents.

Keep Your Children Out of the Middle

Never use your children as messengers between you and your spouse. Do not ask them to spy on the other parent or report back on what happens during parenting time. Children should never feel like they have to choose sides or deal with adult problems.

What Practical Steps Should I Take to Protect My Children's Best Interests?

In addition to emotional support, there are practical steps you should take to ensure your children's needs are met during your divorce. 

Work on a Parenting Plan

Illinois law requires divorcing parents to create a parenting plan that explains custody arrangements and parenting time. This is called the "allocation of parental responsibilities." Set aside your personal feelings about your spouse and focus on what is best for your children. A good parenting plan includes the children's schedules, school needs, health needs, and relationships with both parents.

Consider Professional Support

If you or your children are struggling emotionally during the divorce, it may be helpful to work with a therapist or counselor. Mental health professionals can help with coping strategies and emotional support for the whole family. There is no shame in asking for help during this difficult time.

Work with a Good Family Law Attorney

A family law attorney will help you navigate the ins and outs of filing for divorce, including requirements for the children. Finding a lawyer sooner rather than later will help you feel more confident as you go through the rest of the divorce process. It will also give you someone to ask any questions concerning your children.

Call a Naperville, IL Family Law Attorney Today

You and your children do not have to face divorce alone. The DuPage County divorce lawyers at Pesce Law Group, P.C. have two decades of experience and understand how stressful this time can be for families. Attorney Pesce is court-approved in DuPage County to serve as a child’s representative and has experience working with cases involving children. 

Call 630-352-2240 for a free consultation to discuss your situation and learn how we can help you and protect your children's well-being throughout the divorce process.