How to Keep Emotions From Impacting Your Divorce

 Posted on August 02, 2017 in Divorce

The Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory marks divorce as the second-most stressful life event a person can endure. It is second only to the death of a spouse. Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things a person can endure. A person had dreams of spending their life with someone, and now those dreams have ended. He or she may now be alone and unsure of what to do next. Many of those undergoing a divorce have intense feelings of loneliness, anger, resentment, sadness, and regret. If you are considering divorce or are already in the process of one, there is no magical way to make it less painful but there are steps that experts say can help you keep your emotions in check.

Think With Your Head, Not Your Heart

Jeff Landers, author of Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally: What Women Need to Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce, explains that during a divorce, one must think with their head instead of their heart. Giving into emotions can lead to rash decisions and regret in the future. Family and relationship professionals tend to agree that there are concrete things you can do to keep a cool head during your divorce and avoid letting your emotions get the better of you.

Find Healthy Outlets

First, learn healthy ways to cope with stress. Many people find unhealthy coping mechanisms during a divorce. They may drink too much, or isolate themselves from loved ones. They may find themselves with a short temper or even explosive anger. They may lash out at their ex-spouse or badmouth him or her to their children. These reactions are never helpful. On the other hand, healthy coping skills are those that allow you to process your feelings in a way that is not harmful to you or your future goals. Joining a support group, meditation, surrounding yourself with friends, or exploring new hobbies are ways that some people manage the painful feelings surrounding divorce.

Keep Perspective

It is also important to keep in mind that your divorce will not last forever. Some divorces do drag on longer than necessary—especially when one of the spouses is uncooperative—but the process will eventually finalize. Keep the end goal in mind. Soon you will be on your own. Make sure that the decisions you make will be ones that help you reach the type of future you want.

Work With a Professional

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to make sure you have an attorney who is knowledgeable and compassionate. He or she will be a huge asset to you and will help you make the best choices possible during your divorce.

At Pesce Law Group, P.C. we are proud to provide skilled guidance to those going through difficult divorce proceedings. To learn more about our firm and how we can help you, contact one of our experienced DuPage County divorce attorneys. Call 630-352-2240 for a confidential consultation today.

Sources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2013/05/01/expert-advice-for-divorcing-women-coping-emotionally-while-youre-thinking-financially/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/reduce-the-stress-of-a-divorce/

https://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/