How Should We Tell Our Adult Children We Are Getting a Divorce?

 Posted on March 31, 2022 in Divorce

Studies suggest that although the overall divorce rate has stabilized in America, divorce for couples over 50 has continued to rise. Many couples wait to get divorced until their children are adults, and, coupled with other life-changing events like retirement and major illnesses that happen later in life, perhaps these statistics are not surprising. 

While divorcing couples with adult children can dodge some complex issues like custody and visitation, they still confront the daunting task of telling their children about the divorce. Adults are still deeply affected by parental divorce, and may feel anger, fear of abandonment, resentment, and more. And because adult children are old enough to understand the implications of divorce and the complexities of relationships, their questions are likely to be more pointed and will require more comprehensive answers than those of a young child. If you are getting divorced in Illinois and have adult children, here are some tips for breaking the news. 

Tell Your Children in Person 

The initial conversation about divorce can be incredibly difficult for everyone and experts recommend trying to avoid having this conversation over the phone. While your children may be adults, you are still their parent, and you need to be judicious about the information you share and how you share it. To some extent, your job as a parent is still to protect your children; they are not responsible for your divorce but will still be stuck dealing with many of the consequences. 

Practice Answers to Predictable Questions

While you will likely have to ad-lib your answers to some extent, many questions are predictable and you should have appropriate answers prepared. Try to avoid placing blame or sharing overly intimate details, and, if possible, try to coordinate your answers with your spouse. Your children likely already know some of the reasons for the divorce, so honesty is the best policy, but they do not need to know all the personal details. 

Check In Often

You may expect your child to be able to handle tough things as an adult, but parental divorce can be a real shock that takes time and effort to process. Although you are likely hurting as well, it is important to remain in your role as a parent and check in regularly with your children to make sure they are doing okay. You can expect to need to repeat information or answer certain questions more than once and be open to a variety of emotional responses your children may have. 

Meet with a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

Even when your children are grown and out of the house, managing divorce is complicated. Fortunately, the experienced Naperville divorce lawyers with Pesce Law Group, P.C. can help you manage the legal aspects of your divorce so you can place the focus on your family. To schedule a free case review and learn more about your options, call us now at 630-352-2240. 

Source: 

https://www.nextavenue.org/how-tell-your-adult-children-youre-divorcing/